Killer The K9 Hunts Rhino Poachers Like It’s Nobody’s Business

killer k9

BBC – K9 Killer’s tracking skills have led to the arrest of 115 poachers in Kruger National Park over the last four yearsHis contribution to saving the rhino population was “truly remarkable”, said UK vet charity PDSA, which awarded the gold medal for animal heroes. The winner was announced by British comedian Ricky Gervais.

There are fears that rhinos, hunted for their lucrative horns, could be extinct within 10 years.  Killer and his handler, Amos Mzimba, are flown by helicopter to track and apprehend armed poachers when sighted or when a dead rhino is discovered.

“It is an honour to have Killer by my side. It means a lot that he has been recognised for his skills,” said Mr Mzimba, who added that the brave dog once saved him when a poacher was shooting at him.

killer k9 2

Few men or beasts deserve a round of applause more than our boy Killer the K9 here. What a magnificant, beautiful pooch. Absolutely majestic. Killer’s clearly a badass yet still cute AF. So proud of his little gold medal; so happy. That’s what’s great about good service dogs. You’d never know that Killer just spent the last four years getting helied around South Africa like Rambo, hunting down 115 poachers, ripping out their throats and burying their entrails in the desert. Digs his own holes, too.

Poachers are the vermin scum of the earth. Good on Killer and good for rhinoceroses everywhere. Hopefully Killer spends his weekends impregnating every bitch in sight. Need a pack of Killers hunting poachers across the globe. Gotta have it.

PS – This has the all the makings of the next great dog movie. Killer and Amos save their African jungle pals. Think Lassie meets Call of the Wild meets Blood Diamond. I’m sure whichever Hollywood derp green-lighted Max could use a mulligan.

PPS – Ricky Gervais stays gripping those award show checks, huh?


This Alleged Brooklyn Gang Rape Case is The Most Bizarre Story of the New Year

Osborn Park BK
Osborn Park in Brownsville, via NY Times

A disturbing story came out of Brooklyn this weekend as NYPD arrested five teenagers in the alleged gang rape of an 18-year old woman. The original account, reported Sunday by The Daily News, was that a group of men attacked the victim and her father in a public park, threatened and chased away the father with a handgun, and then took turns raping the young woman. The father is said to have tried to use the phone at a nearby bodega to call 911, but, according to the clerks, he appeared drunk and “showed no urgency,” so he was turned away.  Now, more details have emerged, leaving us with an increasingly murky – and far from complete – story. Here’s a breakdown from the NY Times:

Five days after officials say an 18-year-old woman was set upon in Brownsville, four teenagers were arraigned on first-degree rape charges on Tuesday night, and a fifth suspect was arrested.

A smartphone video that its owner and defense lawyers said showed a verbal encounter before a suspected gang rape at a Brooklyn playground emerged on Tuesday

Detectives are investigating claims that the woman was having sex with her father when the five suspects encountered them at Osborn Playground around 9 p.m. on Thursday.

It “does not mean she was not a victim of a pretty horrific attack,” a law enforcement official said. “What appeared to have happened is that the father may have put her in that compromised position.”

The defense questioned the conduct of the woman and her father leading up to the attack, raising a video that it says shows the woman partially clothed on the ground, laughing and smiling, moments before the attack.

Spencer A. Leeds, the lawyer for Onandi Brown, 17, added, “There’s a belief in the neighborhood, in the Brownsville community, that the complaining witness and the father have had sexual intercourse.”

Billy Sullivan, 24, said the video was recorded Thursday at Osborn Playground by his younger brother, Mr. Phillip, 15. He said it portrays a fresh snippet of dialogue that would help the argument that any sex was consensual.

“She said yeah,” an unidentified male voice is heard saying on the video, played for a reporter on Tuesday by Mr. Sullivan. Then a male voice is heard saying: “If you said yeah, it’s lit, like, you know what I mean. I could tell you a freak.”

Two of the suspects, Mr. Phillip and Mr. Murray, were turned in to the police by their mothers on Sunday… Later on Sunday, the police arrested Mr. Cooper, 15, and Mr. Brown, the authorities said. The fifth suspect, Travis Beckford, 17, was arrested on Tuesday morning and charged with first-degree rape.

“Both the victim and the father, the witness, say the gun was used, so we’re still searching for that gun,” Chief Boyce said.

Initially, the police said that “each one of the five suspects raped the victim.”

By Monday, the account of that chain of events was changing.

The woman told investigators she was raped by at least one of the suspects and forced to perform oral sex on two others... Under questioning by detectives, two of the suspects told investigators they witnessed those sex acts, but described them as consensual between the woman and the three other suspects…

The victim and her father have admitted to drinking alcohol at the playground before the encounter, Chief Boyce said. “It’s part of the case,” he said.

They had bought beer together on Thursday, around 9 p.m., then walked into the playground together, which was captured on “distant video” images.

Officials said the woman and her father had been separated for much of her life…reconnecting only last summer.

brooklyn alleged rape
Murray, Phillip, and Cooper being led to their arraignment, via WSJ


First things first: no one should dismiss the fact that this 18-year old girl was the victim of some type of heinous crime. I’m not in the business of dismissing rape victims (who am I kidding, I do this for free), but in just a few days the original claim of a violent gang rape already seems somewhat flimsy.  A search of all the boys’ cell phones and an in depth investigation of this smartphone video should provide more clarity in the coming weeks, but at the moment this sounds less like a violent gang rape and more like a vulnerable, intoxicated girl being taken advantage of by five, if not six, lowlife pieces of shit.

The defenses claims are enough to make me want to puke.  If this bit about incest is true, Daddy John Doe is public enemy #1.  Any gutter-dwellerwho abuses a young family member should be faded on sight. Don’t even waste my taxes, just drop this guy with the Javier Bardem cattle gun.  Even if this moron was not assaulting his daughter, he should ashamed of himself. Dude was getting hammered in a park with his teenage daughter, late at night, and then abandoned her in a comprising position without any evidence of putting up a fight. Just a total fucking mope.

The five teen boys’ role is what’s most up in the air.  From Day 1, this story has been reported as a “guilty until proven innocent” type situation. That’s a sensitive and understandable issue in abuse cases these days as no one wants to question the story of a rape victim. But lack of due process is also a big problem with urban youth in this country, and a lot of time vindication is delivered too little too late. That’s what makes this case so intriguing. The two sides represent dueling marginalized groups. It will be interesting to see how a generally liberal New York media handles this moving forward.

If this was a premeditated gang rape, lock these kids up and throw away the key. They don’t deserve daylight for the next few decades. But, given the recent updates, I’d like to play Devil’s Advocate.

Lets talk about if there was “verbal consent” granted, as the defense claims.  There’s no denying that The Osborn Park Five was up to no good. According to the Times, one of the suspects was arrested on attempted murder charges in October (later downgraded to assault and possession of a weapon).  They’re not innocent little teenagers, but they’re not necessarily rapists either.  Anyways, this brilliant quintet stumbled upon the drunken father-daughter duo in the park and, whether Dad was fucking his daughter or not, they had a particular goal in mind. It takes a certain type of pathetic pack mentality to want to manhandle a chick with FOUR of your buddies. When it comes to sex, one-on-one is the way to go. Three-ways are acceptable, I guess, but anything more than that is some creepy punk shit.

So, The coward father subs himself out or gets chased away (no sign of a weapon, so, who knows?) and the boys get right to business.  Even if approval was given, these scumbags still took advantage of a drunk woman in a very questionably fragile emotional state. Police say that the rape kit came back consistent with assault. My non legal argument would be that when one engages in an orgy with a group of hoppers in a blacktop park in Brownsville, the night moves are not likely to be sensual.

Rapists or not, these kids are shitheads in need of some serious rehabilitation. I’m pretty torn here. On one hand, I don’t want to dismiss a victim of abuse. I also don’t want to simply believe the family of potential rapists as they besmirch the victim and her father. However, the father’s role in this whole ordeal really bothers me.  Street videos from a school and numerous delis show footage, yet no weapon has been found or shown. The dad’s story doesn’t add up. At best he’s a coward, a drunk (and likely junkie), and a terrible decision-maker.  I’m having a hard time believing the his story. Combine that with the potential video evidence and I feel myself believing these claims of incest.  I’ve got a bad feeling that the rape claim might be a detestable father’s cover-up, in which case the daughter would be so mentally and emotionally damaged that it makes sense for her to go along with the story.  Clearly this girl is a victim, I’m just not sure to what degree. Hopefully both parties receive due process; it’d be a shame if this became another Central Park Five situation.


Is This The Perfect Making A Murderer Joke?


Yes, yes it is.

As incredible as the series was, Making A Murderer was really just disheartening and sad. The comprehensive lesson is basically don’t talk to police. Straight up. The only words anyone should speak when alone with police is “I need my lawyer.”  Too many things can go wrong. Too many cops are average dummies like you and me. They’re trained to uncover a confession rather than the truth.  No matter how innocent you know yourself to be, talking to the police ain’t worth the risk. Granted, most of us aren’t inbred hillbillies from Oshkoshbagosh, Wisconsin, but even a bogus arrest can be incredibly damning. Not to mention time consuming.

At least now us Netflix-binging honkies know what our shadowy pigmented pals figured out many moons ago. Cooperate fully once your fat Italian college buddy (read: attorney) is present.


PS – The season dragged about two episodes too long, but I guess if I spent a decade documenting anything in the world – especially a case as insane as the Avery case – I’d want at least ten episodes, too.

h/t B-Hooks




Does This Look Like The Face of a Guy With a Ladies Underwear Addiction Who Broke Into His Neighbor’s Home, Stole Some Maxi Pads, and Left His Jacket on the Roof?

dan kowatch

Portland, Oregon – A Portland man was arrested after his neighbors awoke to find him in their bedroom rummaging  through dresser drawers and later found he had stolen women’s underwear, court documents say.

Daniel R. Kowatch, 24, told police early Sunday that he had thought many times about breaking into a neighbor’s home just to see if he could get away with it and decided to act on the idea.

Police officers found Kowatch’s jacket on the roof of the home and discovered two pairs of women’s underwear, maxi pads and a large bowie knife in the pockets, the court papers said.

Kowatch told police that he “has an obsession with women’s underwear and it’s getting worse.”

Does Daniel Kowatch have a problem?  Sure he does. The guy running around town with pockets full of panties and maxi pads probably has a screw loose.  And, no, it’s not a good look to be breaking into your neighbor’s home, rummaging through their drawers and terrorizing the neighbor children.

Sidenote: what’s with the maxi pads, Dan? I understand underwear fetishism. That – in a strange, embarrassing way – makes sense to me. But a sanitary napkin? Were you ordering buffalo wings?

So, yes, Daniel Kowatch needs some help.  But Daniel is also an inspired young man. Daniel is the type of guy who never says “die.” The type of guy who carries a bowie knife just in case someone needs to catch the fair one.

Everyone knows a “knife guy.” Knife Guy – along with Brass Knuckle Guy – was the first kid to do coke in high school and the only JV football player with a steroid connect. Knife Guy made everyone incredibly uncomfortable but he also wouldn’t hesitate to cut anyone who gave his “friends” trouble. Knife Guy was no one’s friend but we were all his bestie.

Daniel Kowatch is Knife Guy. Daniel gets an urge to break into his neighbor’s home and actually follows through.

We’ve all had that urge. The urge to test if you could get away with a crime. Most of us, however, are too smart, rational, and cowardly (depending on your worldview) to try our luck. Not Daniel.  Daniel will scale a house, climb onto the roof, kick down a door, and give some unsuspecting housewife’s panties a fatty wiff. Dirty Portland hippie housewife panties, at that.

He might be an intense pervert with a worsening obsession for ladies’ underwear, but there’s a place in this world for Daniel Kowatch. Ya never know, donating a few months to the State of Oregon might just help our guy Dan find his way.

Upstate New York Parents Beat Teenage Son To Death During a Christian Church Counseling Session


New Hartford – Members of a secretive, hard-core Christian church savagely beat an upstate teen to death during a “counseling session” that turned horrifically violent.

The parents and sister of victim Lucas Leonard, 19, were arrested after allegedly delivering deadly punches and kicks during the hours-long assault Sunday night, inside the Word of Life Church in New Hartford.

Bruce Leonard, 65, and Deborah Leonard, 59, were charged with manslaughter, while sister Sarah Ferguson, 33, was charged with assault.

Lucas’ brother Christopher Leonard, 17, was severely injured during the same beating, officials said.

Both young men were at church, after regular services Sunday night, to attend a counseling session aimed at boosting their “spiritual state.”

“During the counseling session involving Lucas Leonard and his brother Christopher, the session turned physical,” said Inserra.

“Both brothers were continually subjected to physical punishment over the course of several hours in hopes that each would confess to prior sins and ask for forgiveness.”

When Lucas Leonard was found in bad shape Monday morning, he was rushed to the hospital and pronounced dead.

Bruce Leornard, left, and Deborah Leonard, center, enter the courtroom of before their arraignment, Tuesday, Oct. 13, 2015 in New Hartford, N.Y. The central New York couple have been charged with fatally beating their 19-year-old son inside a church, and four fellow church members have been charged with assault in an attack that also left the young man's brother severely injured, police said Tuesday. (Mark DiOrio/Observer-Dispatch via AP) ROME OUT; MANDATORY CREDIT

Religion, ladies and gentlemen! Step right up to the Pulpit and confess your sins! Wait, no, that confession was horrible.  You’ve got nothing else? K, hopefully God’s a forgiving god because guess what, you’re dead!

Was this a World of Life Christian Church counseling session or a gang initiation?  Not that there’s much of a difference between the two, but I actually can’t tell.

Seriously, what is wrong with people?  How do people become such brain-washed sheep? I’m all for religion as an institution to promote community, decency, and teach lessons of morality and ethics, but this is what happens with these eccentric, hard-core cult factions of literally every organized religion ever.  They’re all mongoloids.  Jews, Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus and everything in-between; if you can’t separate the metaphorical lessons of your chosen text from literal interpretation of said text than you are a certifiably insane person who belongs on a neighborhood watch list. Let’s call it Matty’s Law.  Maybe then we could have beaten Bruce and Deborah Leonard to the punch. Maybe we could have forced the Leonard parents to admit just how full of shit they really are.  Maybe they wouldn’t have been able to pummel their own son to death because he failed to adequately confess his “sins.”

Oh well, Lucas Leonard is pretty much a martyr now. He’s basically the World of Life’s Isaac, Son of Abraham.  The kid might even have a few verses written about him by some other wacko a thousand years from now. Good for Lucas Leonard.  We should all be so lucky.

PS – Lucas and Christopher Leonard are tough as nails. Hours of constant punches and kicks? One thing is for sure, their coward family members wouldn’t have lasted half as long with the same treatment. Hopefully Christopher turns out alright, in a relative sense.

Homeless Bum in Florida Finds Dead Body, Uses the Skull as his Puppet at Publix, Leads Police to the Body

NY Post –  Shoppers at a Publix in Sebastian, Florida, called 911 Tuesday afternoon after spotting a homeless man carrying around an actual human skull.

“He was using it as a puppet,” said witness Nick Pecoraro to WPBF. “It smelled like death.” 

According to the Indian River County Sheriff’s Office, the unidentified homeless man–who was living in the woods across the street from the grocery store– found the human remains in a secluded area away from the homeless “camps” and decided to carry it into the Publix to report the body. 

 “He had put the skull on top of a trash can over there because he wanted to tell somebody to call the sheriff’s office.”

Once deputies arrived, the homeless man led them to the body, which has not been identified.

Homeless guys got the easiest gig going, man.  This roofless bastard sleeps in the plush, pine-laden woods of Sebastian, Florida, probably wakes up around 6am to steal donuts from his local Dunkin and grab a bath at the city pool.  Heads to Publix to scare the shit out of some Orlando area home-owners and munch on free samples. Maybe hits a few shots of espresso at the Starbucks kiosk.  These Florida bums are do it right.  There’s a 70% chance this bum raped and murdered the owner of his human marionette skull a month ago and the Florida State Police are none the wiser because he’s covered in bum juice. Guy will test positive for like the 8 other human remnants in his small intestine. Go ahead and hit him with a DNA swab, this maniac is 100% inconclusive.

I’m totally jaded, though. The last year has turned me big time anti-bum. A H8ER, if you will.  I’m not saying it’s DeBlasio’s fault but ever since DeBlasio took office the NYC bums have gotten too big for their horribly ironed britches. First they swarmed 125th street, which was fine because it was already a hub for scum and I just started driving to work instead of public transit.  But then the UWS was taken over.  Tales of the street-urinator and the penis-exposer became daily occurrences.  The Upper West Side residents revolted and now it seems that the vagrants are emigrating to the Upper East Side, specifically Carnegie Hill. All of the sudden, every fucking day – at least twice a day – I’m greeted by a middle-aged, bearded, dead-in-the-eyes ginger psychopath who never wears his shoes and always seems to have just pissed his pants. Worst of all, he wears black ankle socks. The guy looks like Danny Bonaduce on a heroin bender wearing the latest garments from the Yeezy 2 release.

What I’m trying to say is that the homeless in Florida seem to live a much more comfortable and entertained life.  It’s warm, there are tons of Publix so they can fit in with the other malnourished drug addicts, and there are even unidentified bodies to play with in the woods. If Florida’s too far, maybe we can at least shuttle them down to the LES.

Previously in “Good Times at Publix”:

Head of NYPD Police Union Says James Blake Received Special Treatment

NY Post –

Let me first say this: I stand behind the NYPD. This city is a goddamn shitshow. There are homeless derelicts flooding the streets, drugs and gun-running always a threat, crime pops up everywhere from Greenwhich Village to East New York, and a constant influx of new residents are causing overpopulation that only makes things harder for officers.  New York Police have an incredibly difficult and stressful job that I could never handle.  I also understand what Union President Pat Lynch is doing with these statements.  He’s trying to cover for his guys and avoid having his ass handed to him when the city is on the hook for potential millions that it can’t afford.

With that said, yeah, no shit James Blake received special treatment, Pat. Blake was standing outside of the Grand Hyatt minding his P’s and Q’s when – out of nowhere – he gets suplexed by an officer who thought he was pursuing a criminal.  Funny thing is, the officer who bundled Blake thought he was pursuing a suspect wanted for selling illegal credit cards.

blake and suspect James Blake pictured on Left

I get that. Blake definitely looks like that guy, and in the heat of the moment you gotta go get your perp. Only problem is that the suspect (pictured on right) was actually the wrong guy, too.  Yeah, NYPD officers used questionable force to apprehend a famous former professional tennis player waiting in front of a five-star hotel to go to the U.S. Open after mistaking him for a suspect that they also misidentified.  Egg, meet Face.

And how ’bout the fact that when we’re dealing with non-violent suspects – like guys involved in credit card fraud – maybe we could use a more discreet method of apprehension.  I’m just talking out loud, but maybe the guy selling bunk credit cards could be pulled aside and tossed in a Paddy Wagon rather than speared in front of a hotel lobby on 42nd Street.  Who knows, the City might not be paying $6 Million to avoid a wrongful death lawsuit had officers used less-violent tactics last year.

I’m not bashing the NYPD.  Like I said, it’s an incredibly stressful profession. I have family that are police. I respect anyone who commits to that life. But don’t send your union president out to complain that someone received special treatment when your officers fucked up in the most public manner possible. That’s just how it works.  Don’t choke people to death on camera and don’t tackle famous athletes who you mistakenly think are misidentified suspects on camera either. Other than that, we’re all good.