This Reporter Just Buried Aqib Talib In A Freestyle Battle

Score one for pale, bald, geographically indistinct white guys everywhere!  Is this a Carolina guy?  Thought I almost detected some twang in them rhymes but his middle-America high school sports reporting everyman look is so strong that who can even tell?

Credit where credit is due, though, “I smelt this mic and I fainted” was a good opening retort from Talib.  Reporter bro most definitely smells like a gym locker.  Never been more certain of anything than I am of this Wonder Bread rapper’s sour stench.  Probably been wearing that yellow polo for ten straight years on the Asheville Friday Night Light’s beat.  For fuck’s sake, man, it’s Super Bowl Media Night.  They say getting in the building is half the battle but next time you decided to virally trounce an All-Pro DB make sure you leave your little brother’s wardrobe at home.

Would have loved to see Aqib really break this guy down.  Sure, a funny little ha-ha freestyle vid is nice and all but an impromptu ethering of some shmo would really get Super Bowl Week off and rolling.  One would think a renowned trash talker like Talib could more easily zero in on an opponent’s weaknesses.

 

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