Golfer Jaime Donaldson Misses Abu Dhabi Championship After Accident With A Chainsaw

Lesson for all you folks of moderate-to-above-average means in this here world: let someone else handle the power tools. Multiply that sentiment by infinity if your livelihood depends on physical activity.  Got a deck to build or some hedges that need tending? Beautiful. Hire an immigrant or an ex-con.  That’s a little thing called trickle-down economics.

Good on Jamie having a sense of humor about the whole deal, though.  As a guy who nearly sliced his index finger off with a box cutter not long ago, it suuuuuucks. I’m sure the Welshman’s top-50 world ranking and $938,664 earnings in 2015 helped soften the blow, but it’s still a huge bummer.

Actually, I take it all back.  Stitches are a great excuse to not leave the couch for a week while people wait on you hand and foot.  Donaldson’s probably got his feet up with a tub of Mint Chocolate Chip Breyer’s on his belly, laughing as that sucker Spieth eats slow play penalties for trying not to die of dehydration in the desert.  What a life.

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