Hey Kim Jong-Un, Lions Don’t Lose Sleep Over The Opinions Of Sheep

THR – The Interview’s planned premiere in New York has been canceled. The Sony film was scheduled to screen at Landmark’s Sunshine Cinema. On principle, Sony was not going to cancel the premiere, but Landmark made the call according to a source. The news comes after stars Seth Rogen and James Franco cancelled promotional appearances slated for Tuesday and Wednesday.

The premiere cancelation is the latest development following a Nov. 24 cyberattack on Sony. On Tuesday, hackers released additional data, invoking the Sept. 11, 2011, terror attacks in an email to reporters.

“Soon all the world will see what an awful movie Sony Pictures Entertainment has made,” the message from the hackers read in part. “The world will be full of fear. Remember the 11th of September 2001. We recommend you to keep yourself distant from the places at that time. (If your house is nearby, you’d better leave.)”

What is the deal with Kim Jong-un?  Dude, you’re an international superstar. Everyone knows your name. You’re feared by millions. If you play your cards right you could be the most feared man on Planet Earth, way ahead of Bin Laden’s spastic nephews from ISIS or Armenian sex trafficker’s or one-legged heroin addicts singing Gospel songs on the 6 train.  You could probably be one of those weird anti-American sex symbols running train through young ladies with bound feet and Hijabs. Just get over the little Hollywood home video that a bunch of silver-spoon-fed L.A. pipsqueaks thought up.  I mean come on, Kim, you’re the A-lister here. This shit should be a compliment. Who cares if a couple of ambiguously gay stoners who make out to Bound 2 try to fake kill you? Have some thick skin for me one time, KJU!

The real story here, though, is fuck this bullshit attempt at fear mongering.  Obviously the premiere of The Interview is cancelled in New York, but it can’t be held out of theaters here forever. I was already planning to see this flick because Franco is oddly fantastic at everything he does, Rogen and Franco are wonderful together, and it’s an awesome concept for the most modern of political satires. Now add the fact that Kim Jong-un is halfway across the globe trying to squeeze tears out of his eyes because the Hollywood bullies are making fun of him and I want to see the film even more.  This whole Sony hacker fiasco is such an embarrassing cry for help by KJU. “Oooh shit, North Korea hacked David O. Russel’s email and found tranny incest porn!” Yeah, who cares, Kim, you blowhard. Normal Americans aren’t scared of you.  I don’t fear you, Kim.  My 14-year old pimple-faced cousin Owen can hack emails too, ya don’t see me cancelling my PornHubLive subscription. Same goes for the movie-going public. We’re still standing here saying Fuck The Free World (that’s you, Kim).  I’m sickened that The Worm actually likes this little punk.  We need to send an operative over to N.Korea and put this scumbag in a grave.  Probably don’t even need a licensed op. Might as well make this a training mission for the next Jason Bourne.  Kim Jong-un obviously ain’t running a tight ship, too concerned with his Hollywood image. Fuck it, just have Kim’s sister poison the douche. Put Dennis down too, he’s finished.

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