PSA: Bubbles’ Evil Twin Is Running Around North Philly Committing Old Fashioned Syringe-Point Robbery

Philly.com – Police have released surveillance video of a syring-weilding man robbing a woman inside a Fairhill take-out restaurant early Saturday.

Police said the victim, 32, told investigators she ordered food from Eddie’s Chinese Restaurant at 113 E. Allegheny Ave. after she finished work around 1:30 a.m.

A man who was already inside the store approached her. Police said he pointed a blood-filled syringe at her and said, in Spanish, “I have AIDS, give me your money.”

The woman threw $200 in cash at the suspect, and he fled in an unknown direction, according to investigators. No injuries were reported. The suspect is described as a 5-foot-10-inch tall Hispanic male between the ages of 30 and 35, and was last seen wearing a blue hooded sweatshirt and Adidas track pants.

Anyone committing armed robbery is a scumbag of epic proportions. They’re the shit on the sole of a garbage man’s boot.  Desperation, hunger, and addiction are all terrible things, but there’s always a better solution than reigning terror on another human being. To be clear, that’s exactly what armed robbery is. It’s a 1-on-1 act of terrorism.  And I’m struggling to think of a more cold-hearted, disgusting display of mental mayhem than shoving a syringe filled with (allegedly) AIDS blood in some innocent woman’s face.  Mamacita’s lucky she gets paid under the table. A little less cash in that handbag and ol’ girl might’ve caught a squirt.

Now, while everything I just said holds true, did we just find the MVDF? You’ll be hard pressed to find a more resourceful dopehead on this or any other coast.  No one in their right mind is ever pulling this stunt, but if we’re strictly talking drug addicts, this 5’10 Hispanic male in Adidas track pants (be more of a bean-eater, bro) showed some serious creativity. People in the hood go absolutely outside their minds at the slightest mention of looming disease. Ebola, Swine Flu, Mad Cow, Mumps.  Walk down the street with Whooping Cough in the inner-city and the SARS masks pop up like Wack-a-Mole. There’s enough to worry about on the lock, no time to fuck with contagions. That’s just a fact.

So what I’m really saying is this was some serious outside-the-box thinking. Our 5’10 Bambino here saw his shot and he took it. That’s how you get named this week’s Most Valuable Dope Fiend. That’s a little thing called hustle and hustle will earn you a quick $200 on a North Philadelphia afternoon. Tomorrow I’d bet he’s scoring a tasty come-up. Who know’s, we might look back on today as the spawn of the next Kaboni Savage.
Or maybe he’s just a more sinister Bubbles: 

That’s a little thing called options.

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