A spring breaker in Florida made good on his promise, “I will piss in your car!” when he urinated inside a patrol car and on a deputy’s lunch. Cops showed up shortly after Chris Brennan, 18, and two others were allegedly smashing bottles on a Fort Myers Beach resort at around 2 a.m. Monday, Fort Myers News-Press reported. A deputy threw Brennan in the back seat of a patrol car for “safety purposes” while he questioned the other two, according to a Lee County Sheriff’s Office report. The teenager responded by banging his head against the car’s window bars and threatening to pee. He then allegedly urinated through the car’s screen cage and onto the deputy’s personal items, including a cellphone, water bottles, and his lunch bag. The 18-year-old was arrested and charged with resisting an officer without violence.
It seems like way too much trouble to go about pissing all over the front seat of a cop car when you’re cuffed and caged in the backseat. Right? Why even try it? There’s no good outcome. Either you tack on some extra charges or get fined for like two hundred Abe Lincolns. Or, in your blackened stupor, you screw up trying to get your dick over the seat and through the cage, and wind up in your own Golden Shower. The only (potential) upside to this move is if you succeed and piss all over Carl Winslow’s hoagie maybe, just maybe, he goes Mighty Joe Young and leaves you looking like Sloth from The Goonies. In that scenario you’ll be able to throw some lawsuits around, but you gotta pray that the damage isn’t permanent. That’s the only positive that I can think of, and it’s still a huge stretch. Maybe this kid’s just more Xtreme than I could ever hope to be.
And you’ve gotta be absolutely blacked or a half a tard to pull this stunt. No way Chris Brennan remembers this, right? Sounds like he might be the spawn of the Retarded Long Island Laugher. If I don’t have alcohol related amnesia when this is going on, it’s just waayyyy too much work. No fucking chance. But anyway, here’s the stupid looking pud who let the good times flow:
Over and out.
ps – Was Brennan aiming for the sandwich? If so, I might be underestimating this fella. Coordination at it’s finest.