The Hopper Making Boston Look Guuud

Evidently the Hopper by Dish is some sort of service intended to help all you beautiful consumers watch TV more efficiently. That said, I know as much about this service as I do about Edward Hopper’s contributions to Realism, which would be zilch.

But I do know one thing: The Hopper seems intent on making Bahstonians looks like lazy, telvision-obsessed maniacs who will go to extreme lengths to ensure comfort around the house and avoid exercise. And you know what? That’s fine by me. After all, aren’t all of us great Americans essentially Hopper’s target audience? Sure, the Hopper singles out Bostonians in the commercial because a lot of you are fat, Irish, and talk funny. But don’t we all just want to kick back on reclining toilets, drop a steaming hot deuce, and stream ESPN/Skinemax without wasting time with commercials? I’d rather kill a Jehova’s Witness then listen to his 5-minute, porch-delivered prophecy. In the end, isn’t that the same thing? Of course it is.

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