The Blackhawks refuse to lose. They are out of control on fire and will run the table. Don’t try to debate this fact, they will reclaim the cup and drown your best player in celebratory champagne. They will eat your children, knock out Mike Tyson, and bite off his ears. The Blackhawks are hotter than Death Valley. They’re hotter than Erin Andrews caressing Charissa Thompson. Hotter than Kelly Kapowski, Jesse Spano, and the Pink Power Ranger. If you’re a little out there, they’re hotter than Winnie Cooper. They’re hotter than Daenerys Targaryen.
They’re breathing Fiiiiiyyyyaaaaa.
Fuck You, they’re the Blackhawks.