(NEWSER) – Who says life stops at 102? On her 102nd birthday, Clara Cowell has given in to her family and agreed to stop smoking, the Daily Mail reports. The British mother of four, grandmother to nine, great grandmother to 12, and great great grandmother to four conceded that after puffing on some 60,000 cigarettes, falling ash has become a risk to her health. But this might backfire: “The secret to mum’s long life is a cigarette and a cup of tea with whisky,” says one of her daughters. “That and hard work and poverty. She’s an inspiration.”
Mrs. Cowell’s daughter is correct. Ole’ Dear is 100% an inspiration. Without a doubt, Clara has some of the best lady genes on planet Earth. Considering that she’s a lifelong smoker tipping back tea and whiskey every day who has endured 100-plus years of Britain’s dismal dental care, Clara might have top 10 genes on the planet, period. Man, woman, or beast. It’s a wonder she didn’t die twenty years ago from a rotting abscessed tooth. Not too mention the lungs and liver on granny. Definitely impressive.
But on the other hand, what are Clara and her family thinking? Why tempt fate? This is how she has been living for all her life, all she knows is that sweet tobacco leaf. She’s probably been smoking for over eighty years. Not only is it all she knows, but it’s all her body knows. When you’re lucky enough to be blessed with a good thing, you don’t fuck it up. You ride with what got you there, for 102 beautiful years.
This woman’s organs must be so angry and confused. Imagine that addiction. Imagine those withdrawals. Her first few days without cigs will put Tyrone C. Love and Harry Goldfarb’s heroin detox to shame. Two potential outcomes here: she’ll fold and be lighting up by next week, or she tries to stay strong for her overbearing family and (hate to say it) her body folds. 103 she shall not see. Chalk it up.