Russian Wrestling Coach Thinks Gays Are Staging a Takeover

A Russian coach furious about the International Olympic Committee’s recent decision to remove wrestling from the 2020 Olympics has made an inflammatory claim about who is to blame for the move.

Speaking to Russian sports site R-Sport, Russian wrestling coach Vladimir Uruimagov said that the IOCs decision was evidence of a gay conspiracy.

“If they expel wrestling now, that means that gays will soon run the whole world,” Uruimagov said, adding that cutting wrestling from the Olympic program was “a blow to masculine origins.”…

There’s a lot of Strange going on in Russia right now regarding gay rights.  After a twenty year period of freedom to persecute homosexuals and distribute as much anti-gay propaganda as your heart desires, there are now some criminal laws being passed protecting gay Russians. So it’s an awkward time for all the homophobic Russian guys out there.  And for some reason, I imagine that most hetero Russians are pretty homophobic. Who knows, I’m probably wrong.

I’m not for a homosexual global takeover either. Or any takeover for that matter. That sounds like a pretty brutal time and would make for a seriously creepy movie with way too much full frontal.  But this wrestling coach? I understand that he thinks the IOCs decision to get rid of wrestling is a “blow to his masculine origins,” sure. Wrestlers are an insanely proud breed of human.  Wrestling preaches “conquering all obstacles” more than any other sport.  But Vladimir Uruimagov is off the mark here. You have to think that if and when said global takeover occurs, the gays will want wrestling on their side. Since Russians and wrestlers are both stereotypical crazy humans, the gays will want to infiltrate the Russian wrestling community and reach the highest possible ranks, which would be the Olympics. If you’re the International Gay Military Commander, you want the toughest gay wrestlers possible. Hand to hand combat.  For all we know, this process has already begun, worldwide.  Who knows? What about those Nebraska wrestlers a few years ago who got caught posing as nude models for a m2m website? The ball could already be rolling on this. Last thing the Gay Wrestling Federation wants is no Olympics.  They’re just waiting in the brush for the perfect opportunity to have a champion come out in the biggest way possible: by winning Olympic gold after aggressively ‘checking the oil’ of his heterosexual opponent.

My advice to Vladimir is to take a look inside the Russian wrestling ranks.  The gay wrestling movement is already in process. Identify the sleeper cells and get rid of them.  Make a statement. Reclaim your (totally not)rightful place in the sexual preference hierarchy.  Then, and only then, will you save Olympic wrestling.

-Sid Vish


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