Howdy Neighbor, I Just Killed Your Dog

dog killer

Chicago Sun-Times – A Palatine man was charged with animal cruelty for shooting his neighbor’s dog, which was lured to his yard by a deer carcass. He allegedly told police he thought the dog was a coyote.

Piotr Holy, 40, initially denied that he shot Willy, a neighbor’s 9-year-old German shepherd mix who apparently trotted into his backyard to investigate the deer carcass on Holy’s property in the 1100 block of South Brockway Street, Palatine Police said.

Holy later admitted that he shot the dog, thinking it was a coyote, according to a new release from Palatine Police. He allegedly told police that he used the carcass to lure coyotes to his backyard, where he would shoot them.

Willy’s owner, a 31-year-old Palatine woman, called police about 1:45 a.m. Friday, the release said. The dog got away from her when she was trying to leash him. As she was calling him to come back, she heard what she thought was a single gunshot.

Talk about a fucking stooge. Leave it to a Palatine hillbilly to be hunting coyotes in his suburban backyard while rocking the camo.  Palatine’s not even rural, it’s all developments and shit.  But I’m telling ya, the South Suburbs are up for grabs.  Might as well move to Kankakee and go hardcore farm boy if I wanted this motherfucker shooting coyotes in his yard 30 minutes from my house.

And the worst part of this story is that the lady neighbor was literally just with her dog.  Rover got off his leash and and this chick is probably half a block behind him taking her sweet ass time because there are no cars around and hey, it’s not like he’s gonna get shot, right? We ain’t in Englewood, no stray bullets here.  And then, Pop! One shot. She goes frantically running through the backyards to find this triumphant, Larry the Cable Guy d-bag standing over his kill with his .22 in one hand and a High Life in the other.  Holy Shit. Talk about an awkward confrontation.

Lady: “What did you do!?!?!?!!”

Larry: “Huh? This here’s a coyote?”

Lady scoops up Rover and runs to her car.

Larry: “Hey! That’s expensive pelt!”

And another thing Larry. Even if you thought you were out there hunting coyotes to keep the neighborhood safe, I don’t wanna hear it.  Something about your camo-draped mug shot tells me that you weren’t out there simply to protect and serve, but still.  Who the fuck cares if a coyote picks off some little house dog the size of a rabbit every once in a while?  We live in a predator’s world, and those dogs suck anyway.  The less the better.  I live in the city limits of Chicago with a forest preserve nearby.  Twice in my life, I’ve been about 20 feet from a coyote.  Those things are not that big and they want absolutely nothing to do with humans. They’re skittish as fuck.  One thing Larry has on his side, though, is that a decent sized coyote does look like a smaller German Shepard. But still, save the fucking rifles for the range and the deer hunting excursions.

-MF

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s